Last week I had mentioned arm wrestling and how it sets up an adversarial way of looking at each other. A way that prevents us from seeing what might be possible. I have been receiving questions like “how does that happen?” and “why does that happen in my business?” Well, it happens in an instant, and starts in your head!
Have you ever had someone come up to you and as they are talking, you see their lips moving but in your head, you’re thinking…
“That’s not the way it was.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about”
“I’ve been doing this for 30 years, what do you know?”
In your head, in an instant, you just became an adversary with whoever is talking with you.
During that time you were not listening, you have broken the communication line, and all that time this other person has no idea that this is going on in your head.
They think they are in a conversation with you even though your brain is already working on your rebuttal and how you are going to prove that they are wrong and you are right.
This is how an adversary relationship starts in an instant within your brain and typically continues to go on from there. Communication stops and communication becomes an argument instead of a dialogue.
Think about that in your business…
Are you communicating?
Are you listening?
Are you becoming an adversary with your peers, customers, or stakeholders?
It happens so quickly and easily and has the power to completely undermine your ability to succeed.